20… What?!?!

I can not believe the year is about to be 2015. The time of the year where people start doing the New Years resolutions thing. I tend to be kind of goal oriented it turns out. So I just set goals when I see fit. I will write a blog about the year that was 2014 probably one of these days… But this is about the goal I have set up for January. A friend of mine ran a total of 100 miles in Novemeber… And It got me thinking… I wonder if I could do that. December was out of the question with the holidays and my trip to New York. So I decided I would shot for January. So here is my announcement to the world that I am attempting to run a total of 100 miles in January. I realize it’s only a little over 3 miles a day. No big deal…right?!?! Currently I don’t run everyday. I barely run once a week. Workout… For sure. But not consistent running. This will be a commitment. And a stretch but I am up for the challenge. My friend Celeste made me a calendar to track my mileage. She is awesome. She rocked the challenge… So I’m confident it can be done. I heard someone label this year 20-FIT-teen and I am stealing that! Let’s make this a happy and healthy year! We got this!

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Merry Christmas

Soooo. In true Tonya fashion, I had my own little way of celebrating this Christmas day. I celebrated my 33rd birthday by running 6 miles because 3+3=6. I Celebrated hitting my 81lb weight loss goal by running 8.1 miles. So, today I figured I had to come up with some way of celebrating this lovely MN Christmas day. The only thing I could possibly think of was to go for a run. We celebrate as a family on Christmas Eve, So I was on my own for today (which I am quite enjoying actually). So I knew I wanted to go for a run. I didn’t however know how far I should run. It was actually really decent running weather for being December 25th in MinneSNOWta (it’s actually Minne-lackof-Snow-ta this December. So I took advantage. Here is the conclusion I came to was to run 3.16 miles. Why 3.16 you ask. Well seems appropriate for Christmas day. Christmas to me is more than gifts and lights and food and family. It is the day that a little baby came to earth to save us. A baby born in a manger… into the mess of the world to eventually die for our sins. Heaven’s perfect gift. What does that have to do with 3.16 Tonya?!? John 3:16 For God so loved the world He gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Christmas is when God did that for us. You and Me. That is Christmas to me. A baby, born in a manger. I hope you take a moment today and… well always.. to believe. Believe in the magic of Christmas.  Believe in yourself. Believe in the good. Merry Christmas!!! Be blessed…and even better be a blessing!

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Wait… What?!?!

First of all I must start this blog out by pointing out the obvious. It’s what’s on the inside that counts. The number on the scale and/or the number on the pants doesn’t matter. Healthy living is MUCH more than that…. and can be measured so many other ways. How you feel, how much energy you have… and so on. This Blog is about Pants. Well…actually jeans. I like Jeans. A LOT. I have had a lot of jeans over the years: Fat jeans, Skinny jeans, someday jeans, yeah..right…never gonna happen jeans. Jeans are the first place I notice if I am getting way off track. The jeans don’t fit, they get to tight and uncomfortable or even worse.. the “muffin top” (well I call mine a cupcake top cuz I don’t care much for muffins…but cupcakes is another story) starts spilling over even more. It’s a wake up call to get back on track.  I specifically remember a conversation with my mother near the beginning of this weight loss journey (about 10ish years ago) about wanting to be a certain size. At the time I was wearing men’s jeans because the women’s jeans just didn’t fit quite right. When I switched to women’s jeans I was about a size 18. I wanted to be a size 10. I wanted it so bad. I told my mom…who loving told me to set realistic goals. I told her I was being realistic because I wasn’t really setting a time frame. I just thought it would be the best thing ever to be a 10.

Well, here is what happened tonight. I went into the Lucky Brand store looking for jeans. The lovely sales lady asked me what size the Lucky jeans I was wearing were. I proudly held up 4 fingers. (still kind of in disbelieve that I am in a 4, even though I have been for quite some time) I saw these cute jeans and she grabbed me two pairs. Told me that the sizes run a little different so she grabbed me a size 2. Wait, what!?!? You think I could wear a 2? uh…. whatever lady. I humored her and tried them on. Hmmm. Interesting… They Fit!!! Not only that but they look quite good if I do say so myself. Disclaimer: they do have a little stretch in them… so I get that I am not really a size two..but it still got me thinking. Here are my thoughts: do NOT underestimate yourself. Don’t quit, just don’t! Be proud of how far you have come. Set realistic goals, and when you crush those one… set some  more. It’s really about small, itty bitty changes. You got this! Maybe you have those “too tight jeans” right now… let me just tell you ” a year from now you will wish you started today”

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And Find a pair of jeans that makes you look and FEEL good. You got this!

A picture is worth a thousand words…

I am writing this blog for a couple of reasons… First of all to remind myself how far I have come…. And as a reminder of how I can’t go back. Also, I need to be able to look back on this moment and remember how I felt. Sometimes the feeling gets lost.

First let me be real transparent here… I hardly ever feel real good in my own skin. I think a lot of people struggle with this. I know I am not alone. I tend to struggle to see the good and emphasize the flaws. Imagine that… I’m human 😉 lol.

Well here is what happened…. At this years holiday the theme was red carpet. My usual dress code of jeans and hoodies probably wasn’t going to fly very well. Once a year I do make an exception and wear a dress. I usual do so with some resistance and don’t wear it with much confidence. This year however, I found a dress that I really felt good in. And felt I looked good in. And I think that showed in the dress. I was still awkward when I walked because tennis shoes and dress shoes… Well, just aren’t the same. For the record I will choose tennis shoes any day! Dislike dress shoes A LOT! Okay, back to the photo… What I decided to do was to take the dress photo and compare it to a picture that was taken the year I started my weight loss journey. Remembering back to how it felt to be 81ish lbs heavier. How people looked at me and made comments and comparing that to now. I am without a doubt in the best shape of my life and I feel really good about it. Yes, I still have goals to hit… And am not exactly where I wanna be. However…. I feel healthy and strong and my head is in the game (it isn’t always). I have said it before and I will say it again… It’s a lifestyle. It’s a journey. It is NOT easy..lol but totally worth it…and does NOT happen overnight. Oh, and if I can do it.. So can YOU!

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Some Things I learned in NYC

Just got back from the most magical trip to see New York City at Christmas time. No one does Christmas like New York City!
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My sister Jen and I went to celebrate her golden birthday at the end of December.

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That’s her. With her birthday dessert (that we shared)

As I mentioned before I usually go into a vacation in panic mode. This time I made a clear decision not to panic. The reason behind the panic mode is always food/ lack of exercise related. My pre New York decision was to not freak out. Eat what I want to and not really worry about working out. I was/ am willing to deal with the consequences of these decisions. I decided it was one vacation. I can (actually I already have) get back on track. The same can be said for the holidays. It’s just a few days. If you made good choices most of the time… One holiday or vacation will not derail you. Don’t let them. My head is totally on the game… And I think that is what helped me to not freak out. Also came to the screeching realization once again that when I eat like crap… I feel like crap. I am on day two of my stomach protesting my NYC decisions. So, where my brain was okay with it all… My body isn’t happy with it. Too much cheesecake, French fries, pizza (that was totally worth it!)….

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And the list goes on. One day I had one of those giant soft pretzels for lunch. It’s true. I am sure in each of these situations I coulda made better choices… But I was on vacation mode. I was under the “vacation calories don’t count philosophy” and was perfectly okay with that.

Bottom line. Cut yourself a break. Live a little. Have fun. But get back on track. Can’t be in vacation/ holiday mode forever. I made better choices the last two days and got in two work outs. This is a photo from today’s “little” run…

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The plan was to NOT beat myself up…. But to get back to my normal lifestyle.

We can totally do this. Merry Christmas… Be blessed. And make wise decisions…. Figure out if something is worth spending calories on before you eat it. That’s my holiday challenge for ya. Let me know how it goes. And you don’t have to wait til January 1 to change your life….the time is now!

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Oops.. I did it… Again.

Starting a blog with a Britney Spears song.. Really Ton?!? Yep! Got in a battle with sweets and lost. I know where I went wrong. No one shoved them down my throat… I made the choice. Was it worth it?!? Probably not. This used to happen to me A Lot! I used to beat myself up about it. Today I took the energy that would take to be mad at myself and am working out instead. I felt the need to write about it… Because I get people telling me all the time that I can’t eat things. Or I don’t. Saying that I have such good self control… Or I am on a diet. Etc. I chose to eat healthy most of the times,… But it’s not always easy. Sometimes I struggle and that’s okay. Sometimes I eat myself into a stomach ache and vow to never eat anything ever again. Sometimes I freak out and have a panic attack about going on vacation because I will be out of routine and I don’t want to be thrown way off course. Then I just need to remind myself that I GOT THIS! I have come too far to give up. It’s worth it. And the point of life is to live… And not be obsessed about food. I cannot go back and take back all those food choices. I DO have control over my attitude and my current actions. Will not let this snowball into the new week. Tomorrow is a brand new freakin day! I plan on rocking it! And when I am on vacation next week…. I will do my best to not have anxiety over my choices. I will trust myself and enjoy my vacation. Period 😉