I have to take a moment to recognize the epicness that was Friday night in TonyaLand. First I have to start by telling you that this particular 5k is one of my favorite runs of the year. Many different reasons A) it was my very first official 5k that I ever did. b) the course is beautiful c) the atmosphere is energizing d) it takes place at the college I graduated at. I look forward to this run for months. This year I even picked out my running clothes the night before (yep, I’m THAT girl). So Friday comes and the weather couldn’t be more perfect. Making me super gitty. Sunny and warm! I had a hard time sitting at work that day (who am I kidding I have a hard time sitting at work most days!)
As the start time approaches I start getting sick to my stomach. Nerves. Butterflies. Whatever. I thought I was gonna puke. It was awesome. If your not a runner this next part will make me sound even more crazy. But the thoughts that go through my head when I am running are ALL over the place. Thoughts of quitting, walking, fainting, breathing, hyperventilating, tripping, maybe even dying (yes I can be a little over dramatic) are frequent.
Running is so much of a mental sport. Have to keep calming myself down and telling myself to shut up. Reminding myself I can do it. One foot in front of the other… Just keep running… You know. The believe tattoo comes in handy in these times.
I had huge goals for myself. I wanted to finish right around 25 minutes. I also wanted to try and keep pace with Al. Who is Al you say? Well he is Celeste’s husband. Who is this Celeste you ask… Well she is my inspiration. My friend. My mentor… My accountability partner. Between Al, Celeste and I, we are running a combined 2015 miles this year. Team ACT! Al is a rock star runner. Also an inspiration. He has beat me every single run we have ever been at together. Every one. Well… I’ve kinda increased my running and my weight training… and I guess it’s paying off. I do have to thank him because I passed him… And then he caught up and passed me… Which made me run faster… And also said something encouraging to me when I was passing him. Quitting was not an option! Bottom line I finished in 25:16. Even better I took 3rd in my age group out of 139 girls my age. Even more motivating is the girl who finished first in my age group finished 86 seconds faster than me…. Oh the possibilities. If I keep training and working hard… The sky’s the limit!
I should mention that the girl who finished first in my age groups last name is FAST… I mean really… How are you supposed to compete with that?!? So I did a little comparing me to… Well me…. Conclusion= I am not quite who I want to be… But I for sure am not who I used to be. I am really my biggest computation and sometimes just need to get out if my own way. Friday I kicked chubby Tonya’s butt. Overcame my own doubts and pushed myself beyond my preconceived notions of my inabilities. I let go of “I can’t”… And wondered if I could. I gave it my all.
My weight loss journey started in 2001. Hit a plateau and was conned/ tricked/ dragged… Somehow convinced to start running. And now I can’t stop. But here is a fun little side by side of my first earth day and Fridays run:
Bottom line. The little things you do day in and out great big changes!
And how does the girl who comes in 3rd in her age group on Friday night celebrate? By going out for a 10k run on Saturday afternoon of course. I was just going to go out for a “little, slow recovery run” and well 6.2 miles later… Again the weather was perfect! I ran my old neighborhood. Where I started this whole running thing. Crazy how much easier it is now. They say one day your workout will be your warm up. Never before have I believed that. Here is a photo from that run….
Yes I ran up that spiral ramp. So much fun!
And as if this blog wasn’t long enough I need to brag on my boyfriend for just a minute. Speaking of inspirational. This guy has pretty much lost as much as I weigh. No joke! He is NOT a runner…. And probably will never be one. And that is okay! However he knows how much I love it and humored me and did the Earth Day run with me. He did so with a smile and all 😉 it meant so much to me that he would do that for me. He refuses to recognize how far he’s come so I have to do it for him. Here is an adorable after photo of us….
You just never know who you are inspiring with your life. Be the person you want to be. Don’t quit. Keep smiling and choose joy. That’s all for now… Until next time… Make good choices.
Todays blog brought to you in part by my revelations from this mornings run:
Warning I’m slightly caffeinated and this might be all over and a tidge rambly.. Oh wait all my blogs kinda are. So. Never mind.
So.. I continue to struggle recently with the whole choosing joy thing. I try. I really do… But some days I just don’t have it in me. I have been in a funk recently… And I’m gonna be honest.. I don’t like it. I prefer happy Tonya. Life is way more fun when I’m happy. And people around me tend to appreciate it too. Either they appreciate it or they are annoyed with me… But either way I’m happier when I’m happier. Hehe. Anyways. This whole life throwing me a curve ball thing is still affecting me mentally. I know it shouldn’t. But I really really want to succeed… Like really! So what happens when This girl is struggling mentally!?! I eat. I stop caring what I put in my body. Luckily I have not stopped working out because it make me feel way better than ice cream… And it allows me to sorta be off my eating game a little. However the scale might be noticing my deviation more than I would like it too. Anyways the point here is I did not choose my circumstances but it is 100% up to me to make it happen. It’s nobody else’s responsibility and above all I get to choose my attitude. Truth be told, today was better than most days recently and the only reason was the way I viewed the day. Brain felt more clear and I just… Well…. Chose joy. Made a huge difference. And I made better food choices and I think that makes me feel better too. Bottom line is that I refuse to quit. I will not give up on me. And I recommend you doing the same. I have a list of reasons why quitting working on me in not an option. I probably should look at it more often. As I’ve said in another blog about me not wanting to look myself in the face and say that I blew a huge opportunity to succeed…well.. I most defiantly do NOT want to look myself in the face and have it be a less healthy and happy version of me. That’s not acceptable and not an option.
Another reason to write this particular message is due to the fact that some dear friends of mine are going through an unexpected life event that could cause them to stray off a journey. In all honesty we are more like family. These are my weight watchers members. Even after I had to leave they are and will always be my people. The meeting that we had grown to love had to close… But I am I am telling you now…That quitting isn’t an option. It’s a lifestyle and you owe it to you to finish what you started. I have faith in you. You are worth it. DO NOT QUIT! As you might have guessed all those things were written as a reminder to me as well. We are all on this journey of life (and weight loss) together and I hope you never forget that I’ve got your back.
Found this just today as I was scrolling t through FB. Seemed fitting for me today… In this time:
Truth be told not having to be held accountable to my weight watchers people on a weekly basis has not help me keep my head on the game. I don’t have to stand up in front of a group of people on a weekly basis and try and motivate and be an example of weight watchers makes me a little more relaxed. And the truth is that’s a little scary. The last time I lost this kind if accountablity I gained like 20 pounds. No exaggeration. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…. Butterflies can NOT go back to being caterpillars. Time to get my head in the game… Break out of this funk… Get my big girl panties on and keep on spreading my wings and FLYING. The sky is the limit… I totally got this and guess what?!?! So do you! I’ll leave you with one more Pintrest find that I found rather fitting.
Make good choices!
Talk about a roller coaster ride of a week. I have been challenged in more ways than once. I have been pushed outside of my comfort zone and scrutinized by myself and others. I have pushed myself to the limit. And let me tell you something… it hasn’t been easy. And like I have said before I like easy. However, this week I have even given a glimpse of what is possible if I continue to allow myself to be pushed outside of my comfort zone and try new things. I have seen what can happen if I don’t settle for just doing an okay job. What my future looks like if I embrace changing the way I do things and let go of what I have always known. I have had a light bulb moment if you will. I am beginning to realize that I am worth investing in.
One day I was running on the treadmill at the hotel and was face to face with myself and I decided I do NOT want to have to look Myself in the face and say “you had an amazing opportunity and you wasted it.”
I know it’s not a great photo…. But you get the idea.
I want to succeed. And I know it sounds silly but I’ve never really had a goal of succeeding. I just kinda do my thing. And live my happy little life. I want to build a future that I am proud of. I want to say I earned it and it was my skill and ability that got me there. I want to own my success in life. I want to apply myself and see what happens. I want to be as proud of my career as I am of my weight loss. I want my eyes to light up when people as how my job is going. I met people this week that transformed their lives working at the company I’m working for. They are happy to go to work. They struggle with taking time off because they want to be at work. They want to be successful and they are!! Big time! This week I stopped and asked myself if I am just working for a paycheck or am I working for my future. The answer is I am building a future. Let’s be realistic… It’s not gonna come without some challenges, some stress… Some tears, a lot of freaking hard work… I’m going to have to continue to strive to be better… Continue to push myself and continue to grow and learn and try new things. But I am starting to realize its gonna be worth it. I promise. I don’t know what challenges you are facing right now…. But don’t quit. Don’t give up. You are worth investing in and you are worth success. The sky is the limit….
What does success look like to you?!? And what are you doing to make it happen? You got this!!!