Wait… What?!?!

First of all I must start this blog out by pointing out the obvious. It’s what’s on the inside that counts. The number on the scale and/or the number on the pants doesn’t matter. Healthy living is MUCH more than that…. and can be measured so many other ways. How you feel, how much energy you have… and so on. This Blog is about Pants. Well…actually jeans. I like Jeans. A LOT. I have had a lot of jeans over the years: Fat jeans, Skinny jeans, someday jeans, yeah..right…never gonna happen jeans. Jeans are the first place I notice if I am getting way off track. The jeans don’t fit, they get to tight and uncomfortable or even worse.. the “muffin top” (well I call mine a cupcake top cuz I don’t care much for muffins…but cupcakes is another story) starts spilling over even more. It’s a wake up call to get back on track.  I specifically remember a conversation with my mother near the beginning of this weight loss journey (about 10ish years ago) about wanting to be a certain size. At the time I was wearing men’s jeans because the women’s jeans just didn’t fit quite right. When I switched to women’s jeans I was about a size 18. I wanted to be a size 10. I wanted it so bad. I told my mom…who loving told me to set realistic goals. I told her I was being realistic because I wasn’t really setting a time frame. I just thought it would be the best thing ever to be a 10.

Well, here is what happened tonight. I went into the Lucky Brand store looking for jeans. The lovely sales lady asked me what size the Lucky jeans I was wearing were. I proudly held up 4 fingers. (still kind of in disbelieve that I am in a 4, even though I have been for quite some time) I saw these cute jeans and she grabbed me two pairs. Told me that the sizes run a little different so she grabbed me a size 2. Wait, what!?!? You think I could wear a 2? uh…. whatever lady. I humored her and tried them on. Hmmm. Interesting… They Fit!!! Not only that but they look quite good if I do say so myself. Disclaimer: they do have a little stretch in them… so I get that I am not really a size two..but it still got me thinking. Here are my thoughts: do NOT underestimate yourself. Don’t quit, just don’t! Be proud of how far you have come. Set realistic goals, and when you crush those one… set some  more. It’s really about small, itty bitty changes. You got this! Maybe you have those “too tight jeans” right now… let me just tell you ” a year from now you will wish you started today”

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And Find a pair of jeans that makes you look and FEEL good. You got this!

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A picture is worth a thousand words…

I am writing this blog for a couple of reasons… First of all to remind myself how far I have come…. And as a reminder of how I can’t go back. Also, I need to be able to look back on this moment and remember how I felt. Sometimes the feeling gets lost.

First let me be real transparent here… I hardly ever feel real good in my own skin. I think a lot of people struggle with this. I know I am not alone. I tend to struggle to see the good and emphasize the flaws. Imagine that… I’m human 😉 lol.

Well here is what happened…. At this years holiday the theme was red carpet. My usual dress code of jeans and hoodies probably wasn’t going to fly very well. Once a year I do make an exception and wear a dress. I usual do so with some resistance and don’t wear it with much confidence. This year however, I found a dress that I really felt good in. And felt I looked good in. And I think that showed in the dress. I was still awkward when I walked because tennis shoes and dress shoes… Well, just aren’t the same. For the record I will choose tennis shoes any day! Dislike dress shoes A LOT! Okay, back to the photo… What I decided to do was to take the dress photo and compare it to a picture that was taken the year I started my weight loss journey. Remembering back to how it felt to be 81ish lbs heavier. How people looked at me and made comments and comparing that to now. I am without a doubt in the best shape of my life and I feel really good about it. Yes, I still have goals to hit… And am not exactly where I wanna be. However…. I feel healthy and strong and my head is in the game (it isn’t always). I have said it before and I will say it again… It’s a lifestyle. It’s a journey. It is NOT easy..lol but totally worth it…and does NOT happen overnight. Oh, and if I can do it.. So can YOU!

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Oops.. I did it… Again.

Starting a blog with a Britney Spears song.. Really Ton?!? Yep! Got in a battle with sweets and lost. I know where I went wrong. No one shoved them down my throat… I made the choice. Was it worth it?!? Probably not. This used to happen to me A Lot! I used to beat myself up about it. Today I took the energy that would take to be mad at myself and am working out instead. I felt the need to write about it… Because I get people telling me all the time that I can’t eat things. Or I don’t. Saying that I have such good self control… Or I am on a diet. Etc. I chose to eat healthy most of the times,… But it’s not always easy. Sometimes I struggle and that’s okay. Sometimes I eat myself into a stomach ache and vow to never eat anything ever again. Sometimes I freak out and have a panic attack about going on vacation because I will be out of routine and I don’t want to be thrown way off course. Then I just need to remind myself that I GOT THIS! I have come too far to give up. It’s worth it. And the point of life is to live… And not be obsessed about food. I cannot go back and take back all those food choices. I DO have control over my attitude and my current actions. Will not let this snowball into the new week. Tomorrow is a brand new freakin day! I plan on rocking it! And when I am on vacation next week…. I will do my best to not have anxiety over my choices. I will trust myself and enjoy my vacation. Period 😉

Find a way

Okay. So I went for a run today… And you know what happens when I run?!? I think. Today’s thought was just as the title states. Find a way. Going to preface this by saying first of all that I am not perfect and can be one of the best excuse makers I know. And second of all the irony that it is taking for me to write this makes me giggle. My internet is down at home so I am literally sitting in he Starbucks at Target writing this. Know why?!?! Cuz I found a way 😉

Let me set up the run for you… It was a cold, drizzly 37 degree day in Minnesota. I really just wanted to run and I wanted to be outside. Cold and drizzly are two of my go to excuses for not running. Today I found a way and enjoyed every minute! Will upload the pictures I took when I find a way to do that lol.

So here is goes. I have heard this quote a billion times:

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Think about it. It’s true in all areas of life. Today I was thinking about busting my own excuses. Making excuses is NOT going to get me any closer to my goals. But first I need to recognize the difference between an excuse and a reason. Sometimes I am so good as justifying my excuses I have myself believing they are reasons. Sometimes I need someone to point out he difference once in awhile. But at the end of the day I realize that I am the one responsible for my own destiny.

Being a weight watchers leader I have heard all sorts of excuses as well as my own.
Healthy eating is too expensive
I work 4 jobs… How do you want me to focus on eating right and working out (oh…wait that one is mine)
Holidays
Vacations
You don’t know my situation
I can’t workout
I don’t like to workout
I don’t know what to eat
I don’t know how much to eat
I don’t like fruits and vegetables
It’s just to hard
I have failed in the past
I just can’t
Enter your excuse here….

Here is the bottoms line. FIND A WAY
Figure it out. Find something you like to do… And do it. Start somewhere. Little changes make a big difference. You need help?!?! ASK! Ask me… Ask someone. Google it. If it’s important you will find a way. Is it easy… NO. Is it worth it…. Yes. The answer is yes.

I felt like this message was so important that I’m sitting at target to make sure you got it before I forgot it. I found a way…and so can you! We got this! Make good choices!

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Seeds

SO.. I have a lot to say…. and be warned I am highly caffeinated. So read on with caution. But please read on because I think this is going to be good. I wish you could have seen the light bulb moment when this hit me. Let me set the scene for ya. I was running last night on the track at my gym when all of a sudden my jaw just dropped and I was would almost see the light bulb appear. So funny. And it’s really not that deep. But I think it is helpful for us to think about. Another important background piece is that the current series at Church is about seeds. Planting, growing, harvesting. These thoughts are planted in those messages. I am including the link if you want to watch the services online if you are interested in the biblical principles about seeds. www.greatjoy.org It has been REALLY good.  okay. But my little blog is not about a biblical principle. It, like most things in my life, refers back to my weight loss journey. One of my passions in life has become living a healthy journey and helping others to do the same.

SO, here is my current light bulb moment thoughts.You don’t just wake up one day and decide you want to lose weight and the next day it’s gone. DUH, right?!? well. We sometimes approach it that way. I have heard/ said things like “swimsuit season is coming, better start losing weight” “Pants are getting tight, time to change something” you know. Class reunions, weddings the such. We want the quick fix. We want a short cut. Let me tell ya something. there isn’t a short cut. Like Pastor Brian has said a few times during this series that he doesn’t plan a tomato plant today and expect to be eating a BLT for dinner tomorrow.

So let’s think about seeds for a second. First thing is they are small right?!? I have found one of the main things that has really helped in my journey is the itty bitty little things. Small changes lead to big results. Also, as with seeds, Weight Loss takes time.  Not only that, the journey of all seeds are not the same. You can not compare the fruit of an apple seed to that of a tomato seed. Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s. This one might be a little stretch but the way I see it in my imagination is that attitudes is the soil for the weight loss journey seed. The right attitude will help that weight loss seed flourish. OOOH. and… storms! They will come. Trials, temptations, people trying to sabotage you. The seed uses those storms to provide as substance for growth. And one horrible bad day doesn’t kill the seeds… The other thing about time is that it is going to pass whether or not we are taking control of our health. Some days are going to be sunny and lovely and life seems easy and hunky dory… Others not so much. Hang I’m there. If you are going to enjoy the harvest (or flourish if you are a flower seed) you are gonna have to put in the time. Feed, water and treat yourself well. See how much it relates?!?! All I can hope is the next time you see a flower or a seed or a plant you see… You! Flourishing. And new. See the harvest inside the seed. You might not be able to see it… But it’s there. Just like I could never envision the butterfly I was about to become when I started. I also find as a leader at weight watchers it is easier for me to see the potential in someone than they can see in themselves. I have written about that before. Trust me. Trust the process and most importantly trust yourself.

Grow little seed of healthyness. Flourish. Be happy. And make good choices. It happens one little tiny itty bitty good choice at a time.

I hope you appreciated my caffeinated rambling… To the gym I go to run off a little of this energy 😉

You don’t know me….

So I struggled with writing this blog all day. I don’t want to come off wrong and I do to want to copy a very well written an truthful blog written by my good friend Celeste. But this is something that I encounter on a regular basis and today I, for some reason, was rubbed the wrong way by a well intentioned cashier at SA. I have boiled it down to a few take away points that I hope will be helpful to me and others.

Here’s the story…

I often will stop at Super America on my way to work. I buy two things: a cappuccino and a banana. The same cashier is working pretty much every day. Today he says “just the coffee and the banana?” like every other time I have made this transaction. I said yup. He goes “starting your New Years resolution early this year huh”… My comeback was pretty classic (and maybe a little smart alecky for 7:30 am) I must say. I go “actually I am trying to keep off the 81 lbs I lost”… Pretty sure his jaw hit the floor. And I went on my merry way. I couldn’t help but think a few things. (And I really don’t know why I let this bother me today…but I did, so I am getting it off my chest and this is my blog so I can do what I want LOl) first of all my thought was… Does this guy think I need a New Years resolution!?!?! Are you calling me fat?!?! And my second thought was my healthy lifestyle decisions have nothing to do with resolutions… I attempt to make good choices all year. It’s not easy. It’s a DAILY struggle! Every meal, every snack, every food decision I make it a struggle somedays. Btw. I have to walk passed the doughnuts to get that banana.

Here were my take away thoughts: you (I) don’t know what people are going through… Or what they struggle with. Everyone is fighting a battle. Be kind and motivating always. You don’t know when I kind word or even a smile will change someone’s day.

Don’t take things to personally. Of course he wasn’t calling me fat. He was just commenting on my healthy choices… I get that.

Don’t judge people. For example…Only I know how much work and struggle and kicking and screaming… And doing the right thing when I don’t want to and sacrifice that goes into being where I am. Sometimes it sucks. But all in all it’s worth it.

If you take anything away from this babble… It’s this. Keep being awesome. Don’t let the negativity get you down. And above all… Be nice to you and the people around you. (Of course these are all things I am working on as well)

Until next time.
Make good choices

I’m the what?!?!

Halloween…. A holiday that’s main focus is candy?!? Yep! For a girl with a huge sweet tooth this holiday comes with a lot of temptation. When I am surrounded by temptation… I am going to be real honest I don’t always handle it very well. And I know this going in….so it leads to a lot of anxiety sometimes. Ask the people that are in my life…. I freak out a tidge. Okay. So there is a Halloween party at my dad’s house every year. This year was no different. And yes I was anxious. Last year, as I have mentioned, I was 3 lbs from my tattoo weight. (Which i have since hit and am working real hard to not screw it up) last year I remember leaving feeling sick to my stomach from the candy and stuff. And not just last year but every year bacially… It’s what I do. Correction: it’s what I have done in the past.

Here is a picture if the candy table…. And I didn’t even take a picture of the desserts… Cookies, cake, cheese cake…. You know. A table full!!!

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Wait I gotta back up. So last weeks weight watchers topic was called you version 2.0. Becoming the you…. You want to be. I want to be someone who doesn’t have anxiety over something that should just be fun… But I wasn’t sure how to pull that off. So, I was freaking out to a friend about the temptations and his response was real simple ‘you’re the boss” is what he told me. I just laughed and said “have you met me?!?!” He reminded me that the chocolate is NOT the boss… I am. Well fast forward to prepping this weeks meeting…. Reading through the material I come across a simple 3 word sentence “you’re the boss”…. Huh. Funny. I feel like I have heard that before. So I promptly told him to stop writing the weight watchers material and to get out of my head. Well… Funny thing…. I actually started to believe that I am the boss. And turns out I won! I left the party having elated ZERO pieces of candy. I had one desert but I accounted for that. Funny thing… I actually lost weight at my Tuesday morning weigh in! Today’s weight was the lowest weight I have been EVER!!! Check it out. I do got this and I AM THE BOSS. Wanna here a secret….. So are YOU!!! Let’s not let the food define us. Sure have a treat… Indulge here and there… But don’t forget who the boss is!

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