Wait… What?!?!

First of all I must start this blog out by pointing out the obvious. It’s what’s on the inside that counts. The number on the scale and/or the number on the pants doesn’t matter. Healthy living is MUCH more than that…. and can be measured so many other ways. How you feel, how much energy you have… and so on. This Blog is about Pants. Well…actually jeans. I like Jeans. A LOT. I have had a lot of jeans over the years: Fat jeans, Skinny jeans, someday jeans, yeah..right…never gonna happen jeans. Jeans are the first place I notice if I am getting way off track. The jeans don’t fit, they get to tight and uncomfortable or even worse.. the “muffin top” (well I call mine a cupcake top cuz I don’t care much for muffins…but cupcakes is another story) starts spilling over even more. It’s a wake up call to get back on track.  I specifically remember a conversation with my mother near the beginning of this weight loss journey (about 10ish years ago) about wanting to be a certain size. At the time I was wearing men’s jeans because the women’s jeans just didn’t fit quite right. When I switched to women’s jeans I was about a size 18. I wanted to be a size 10. I wanted it so bad. I told my mom…who loving told me to set realistic goals. I told her I was being realistic because I wasn’t really setting a time frame. I just thought it would be the best thing ever to be a 10.

Well, here is what happened tonight. I went into the Lucky Brand store looking for jeans. The lovely sales lady asked me what size the Lucky jeans I was wearing were. I proudly held up 4 fingers. (still kind of in disbelieve that I am in a 4, even though I have been for quite some time) I saw these cute jeans and she grabbed me two pairs. Told me that the sizes run a little different so she grabbed me a size 2. Wait, what!?!? You think I could wear a 2? uh…. whatever lady. I humored her and tried them on. Hmmm. Interesting… They Fit!!! Not only that but they look quite good if I do say so myself. Disclaimer: they do have a little stretch in them… so I get that I am not really a size two..but it still got me thinking. Here are my thoughts: do NOT underestimate yourself. Don’t quit, just don’t! Be proud of how far you have come. Set realistic goals, and when you crush those one… set some  more. It’s really about small, itty bitty changes. You got this! Maybe you have those “too tight jeans” right now… let me just tell you ” a year from now you will wish you started today”

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And Find a pair of jeans that makes you look and FEEL good. You got this!

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Seeds

SO.. I have a lot to say…. and be warned I am highly caffeinated. So read on with caution. But please read on because I think this is going to be good. I wish you could have seen the light bulb moment when this hit me. Let me set the scene for ya. I was running last night on the track at my gym when all of a sudden my jaw just dropped and I was would almost see the light bulb appear. So funny. And it’s really not that deep. But I think it is helpful for us to think about. Another important background piece is that the current series at Church is about seeds. Planting, growing, harvesting. These thoughts are planted in those messages. I am including the link if you want to watch the services online if you are interested in the biblical principles about seeds. www.greatjoy.org It has been REALLY good.  okay. But my little blog is not about a biblical principle. It, like most things in my life, refers back to my weight loss journey. One of my passions in life has become living a healthy journey and helping others to do the same.

SO, here is my current light bulb moment thoughts.You don’t just wake up one day and decide you want to lose weight and the next day it’s gone. DUH, right?!? well. We sometimes approach it that way. I have heard/ said things like “swimsuit season is coming, better start losing weight” “Pants are getting tight, time to change something” you know. Class reunions, weddings the such. We want the quick fix. We want a short cut. Let me tell ya something. there isn’t a short cut. Like Pastor Brian has said a few times during this series that he doesn’t plan a tomato plant today and expect to be eating a BLT for dinner tomorrow.

So let’s think about seeds for a second. First thing is they are small right?!? I have found one of the main things that has really helped in my journey is the itty bitty little things. Small changes lead to big results. Also, as with seeds, Weight Loss takes time.  Not only that, the journey of all seeds are not the same. You can not compare the fruit of an apple seed to that of a tomato seed. Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s. This one might be a little stretch but the way I see it in my imagination is that attitudes is the soil for the weight loss journey seed. The right attitude will help that weight loss seed flourish. OOOH. and… storms! They will come. Trials, temptations, people trying to sabotage you. The seed uses those storms to provide as substance for growth. And one horrible bad day doesn’t kill the seeds… The other thing about time is that it is going to pass whether or not we are taking control of our health. Some days are going to be sunny and lovely and life seems easy and hunky dory… Others not so much. Hang I’m there. If you are going to enjoy the harvest (or flourish if you are a flower seed) you are gonna have to put in the time. Feed, water and treat yourself well. See how much it relates?!?! All I can hope is the next time you see a flower or a seed or a plant you see… You! Flourishing. And new. See the harvest inside the seed. You might not be able to see it… But it’s there. Just like I could never envision the butterfly I was about to become when I started. I also find as a leader at weight watchers it is easier for me to see the potential in someone than they can see in themselves. I have written about that before. Trust me. Trust the process and most importantly trust yourself.

Grow little seed of healthyness. Flourish. Be happy. And make good choices. It happens one little tiny itty bitty good choice at a time.

I hope you appreciated my caffeinated rambling… To the gym I go to run off a little of this energy 😉

Is this just a dream?!!?

Gonna start this thing off with the truth. This could get lengthy. Something happened today that I thought might never happen….. at a time I was least expecting it. I wrote two weeks ago about sabotaging myself and how I seem to fall short of my dreams by my own undoing. Well…. Something musta hit home… Here is how the story unfolds.

6:30am Alarm goes off. Tonya thinks “oh crap Tuesday morning weigh in” and then quickly replays the last week of food choices.
6:45ish. Getting ready to shower… Hop on the scale it’s shows I nearly hit my ULTIMATE weight goal. I do not believe it!
30 seconds later… I took off my shirt… Stepped back on the scale… And bam! There it is! But wait… Am I dreaming?!?! Rub the sleep from my eyes….Grab my phone and step on again… Got a picture. Not a dream! Goal weight was 140….

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I’m gonna be real honest… As much as I know in my head “the number doesn’t matter and I am just trying to be fit and healthy” this was a HUGE deal for me! Had people ask me at work hey the heck I was so happy. Apparently I don’t hide my emotions real well. But today I Did not care! I felt like I could explode with excitement!

What does this all mean!?!? Well… Now I have to figure out who is going to draw my tattoo, who is going to tattoo it and where am I gonna put it?!?!
Oh.. And in case you don’t know the origin behind this SOON coming tattoo… And because I just like to tell the story when I get a chance…. Here it is. A couple years ago I was trying to figure out a way to commemorate my weight loss journey. I couldn’t think of a better representation in the world than a butterfly. The transformation from a caterpillar to a butterfly is dramatic. I feel like I am longer the chubby girl who’s weight held her back from trying to do things. And even further a butterfly simply can not return to the state of a caterpillar… As the tattoo will serve as a reminder that I too can not return to the unhealthy being I once was. Also… My middle name means butterfly. So that works too.
And there is a verse in the bible …… 2 Corinthians 5:17 that says : Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! That symbolizes new life as well. I am Also a tidge obsessed with the color orange… So it shall be monarch-ish as well. Another super spiffy thing is that I can now say I have officially lost 81 lbs!!! And I was born in 1981! Check that out! I want it to not only remind me but to use as a tool to inspire others.

So there you have it! This day is best day ever material in TonyaLand!

Was talking to my mom about it and she referenced the Sabotage blog. Saying that apparently I had to let a few things go (maybe I didn’t even realize I was hanging onto) to be able to breakthrough… Well there has been a breakthrough people! And I could not be happier! This, however is not the end. Time to find new challenges and make new goals. Enjoy the journey of the butterfly… Never to be a caterpillar again! Until next time. Make good choices… And remember: you got this!