This week I fell. In more ways than one. Here is a picture of the results of my literal fall is week:
Was running the track at the gym and I fell. Just a little rug burn is all. But it hurt my ego. Of course I was not alone up there and was more than a little embarrassed. Long story short.. I got up and kept moving forward. Ended up walking and talking with the girl who witnessed the fall for about a half hour. For the next few days I started thinking about falling. It’s a part of life. It happens. Things do not always turn out the way we think they should. Choices are made, circumstances happen and we fall. Bottom line. This week I fell pretty hard in a not so literal way as well. I chose to let the circumstances of the week and the stress, fear, anxiety, excitement and all sorts of other emotions that I went through dictate my food choices. I will not list all of the not so stellar choices that I made this week… Let’s just say… I fell. I let myself down. I know better. I am NOT looking forward to weighing in this week. At one point this week I was mentally in a place where I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care about making healthy choices, I didn’t care about whether or not I worked out. I just didn’t care. Then I got in a conversation with someone about running. Ended with a comment from her about me being an inspiration and her telling me that she weighs what I used to weigh at my heaviest. Talk about a wake up moment. Her telling me that was more of an inspiration than I probably was to her. I have come to far and worked to hard to not get back up.
As some of you know I have had a plan to get a butterfly tattoo when I hit my ultimate weight goal…. Well I hit that and wrote a blog about that… But have since.. Uh.. Well…. fell 😉 so.. I have a little ways to go to get back there. However I was needed some sort of reminder that I got this… So I got a tattoo yesterday.
A reminder to believe in myself.
To believe in the process.
To believe in God and his plan.
To believe that everything happens for a reason.
To believe that it all works out in the end.
To believe in love.
To believe in the good in people.
This is just a crazy period in my life and I need this reminder as an anchor.
One more thing that hit me about this whole falling thing this week actually is right in line with the weight watchers topic this week “who’s got your back”. Got me thinking… Who is there to help me up when I fall? The answer? A boat load of people! I am so lucky and wanna give a shout out to my peeps! Couldn’t get back up without ya! Bottom line here: we all fall down. In weight loss. And in life.
Don’t let it be the end of the journey. And because I am all about the butterflies… A butterfly can’t go back to being a caterpillar. Quitting (staying down) is not an option. Let’s stand back up and keep moving forward. I didn’t fail… I just fell.
Bored. Hungry. Tired. Stressed. Nervous. Overwhelmed. Free food. Reward. Sad. Lonely. Celebration. Just because.
Those are all reasons I have been known to eat. Oh.. And I suppose I eat because I am hungry too. I guess you can say I am an emotional eater. Why? Because food gets it. Food doesn’t judge and food understands. Oh and it tastes real good too. Is this a healthy habit… Of course not!!! The problems do not go away when the food is gone. The problems remain… And know what else is there?!?! Guilt for making poor choices. Bleh. Can be an endless cycle if you let it. Good news: you don’t have to let it. Food doesn’t control you. You are the boss!!
That’s why I’m blogging about it. So when I am tempted to fall into an emotional eating situation I can be reminded that food really isn’t the answer. Can I promise that it will not happen ever? Nope! Why? Cuz I am not perfect. That’s why. I have over the course of my journey learned to somewhat curb these emotional eating binges. I have learned to stop and ask “is this food really worth it” and have learned to budget my splurges into my life. I have turned to running or working out in stressful times. I rely on friends/ family (my amazing support system) when I’m feeling weak. I do things to keep my hands busy so I’m not tempted to fill my hands with food. I distract myself so I stop thinking about food. I try and deal with the issue rather than mask it with ice cream.
I have a good friend whose relationship with food is purely “food is fuel” and has a “eat to live … rather than a live to eat” mentality. I am not sure I will ever get there. I just like food to much. I have been able to find and maintain a balance…. But it’s still a struggle. A DAILY struggle. However hard it is/ has been to manage emotional eating…it is worth it! Feeling healthy and well is more important than the cupcake I didn’t eat on Monday. I. Gonna leave you with a couple of Pintrest quotes. Love me some Pintrest quotes… Yup. That’s good English 😉
Make it a great day…. And make good choices!!
Starting a blog with a Britney Spears song.. Really Ton?!? Yep! Got in a battle with sweets and lost. I know where I went wrong. No one shoved them down my throat… I made the choice. Was it worth it?!? Probably not. This used to happen to me A Lot! I used to beat myself up about it. Today I took the energy that would take to be mad at myself and am working out instead. I felt the need to write about it… Because I get people telling me all the time that I can’t eat things. Or I don’t. Saying that I have such good self control… Or I am on a diet. Etc. I chose to eat healthy most of the times,… But it’s not always easy. Sometimes I struggle and that’s okay. Sometimes I eat myself into a stomach ache and vow to never eat anything ever again. Sometimes I freak out and have a panic attack about going on vacation because I will be out of routine and I don’t want to be thrown way off course. Then I just need to remind myself that I GOT THIS! I have come too far to give up. It’s worth it. And the point of life is to live… And not be obsessed about food. I cannot go back and take back all those food choices. I DO have control over my attitude and my current actions. Will not let this snowball into the new week. Tomorrow is a brand new freakin day! I plan on rocking it! And when I am on vacation next week…. I will do my best to not have anxiety over my choices. I will trust myself and enjoy my vacation. Period 😉