Live like you were dying….

A lot can happen in the blink of an eye. One moment everything seems to be okay and then the next moment your world changes. Takes a turn.  A phone call you don’t expect can change everything. It’s been two years since I received a phone call like that. 2 years seems like So long ago and yet just yesterday. Two years ago I lost someone I grew up with and loved like a big sister. and I miss her dearly.

Tonight I honored the anniversary of her passing with a 2 mile run.

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As I was running along the river the song “Live like you were dying” came on. It felt like a message straight from Beki. The beauty of  dusk reflecting off the river was a reminder to not take a moment for granted. Not take your next breath for granted or the ability to get out and go for a run. To bask in the joy of the little things. To let go of the frustrations of the day (today was a rather trying day with the nephews.) To find the silver lining in things. To look on the bright side and be grateful for the challenges because they make the good things that much sweeter. Without rain there are no rainbows.

Beki was so full of faith and love and generosity and joy that it was contagious. I want to make her proud. I don’t know if she knows how much I looked up to her. I don’t. But I wish I could tell her. I wish I could hear her sing one more time. I wish I could hug her… just one more time. I wish she could meet her amazing niece who is adorable as can be that she never met. I wish she could see her other nieces that are growing up to be amazing, adorable wonderful little people.

But what I really want is her memory to live on. Her legacy to reflect who she was. And I wish in the middle of stressful, frustrating situations I could remember to breathe. Slow down and choose joy. That really life is too short to not to enjoy it.

Miss you like crazy Beki.

beki memory

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Lessons my mother taught me

There is not a person in this whole wide world that means more to me than my mother. mom and i (3)

She has made me who I am. She has been my rock and my inspiration for 33…well just about 34 years. She has taught me lessons that are more valuable then she will ever know. She has a heart of gold. Probably the sassiest person I know… good thing I didn’t get that trait from her… oh wait… I might have a little sass in me 😉

mom and I at austin grad party

She taught me that it’s not about what happens to you in life, but how you handle it that matters. She has taught me about work ethic and doing the right thing.. even when it’s not the fun thing to do.  She has taught me about love and sacrifice. She taught me to be kind and generous and loving. She also taught me that it’s okay to eat Ding-dongs for breakfast once in awhile. She tried to teach me about being responsible… but sometimes I just don’t listen too good. 😉 She has taught me that hard work and dedication pays off. I have learned about being loyal and forgiving. She has taught me that it is okay to be goofy and it’s okay to laugh at yourself.

mom and i christmas hats

She loves me for who I am. I don’t think I could have picked a better mother for myself. I must say I am extremely blessed to have what I consider to be the best mother in the universe! I could probably write a book on all the stuff my mother has taught me…. but for now I will end with this:   I am proud to call her not only my mother, but a best friend.  Mom, I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.